Rebuilding an Intergenerational Church

Author: The Rev Nikolaj Christensen, Rector of the Wantage Downs Benefice in Oxfordshire.

Our story so far

‘Great is the Lord and most worthy of praise;

    his greatness no one can fathom.

One generation commends your works to another;

    they tell of your mighty acts.’ (Psalm 145:3-4)

The need to tell the next generation about the mighty works of God and about his great love for us echoes throughout Scripture.

Timothy received his faith from his ‘grandmother Lois and … mother Eunice’ (2 Tim 1:5). Christians everywhere have always instinctively understood how important it is to pass on the basics of our faith to the growing generation. Until recently, at least.

The Church of England’s current Vision and Strategy aims to double the number of children and young people being discipled in our churches by 2030. That may sound ambitious, but the reality in hundreds of parishes and benefices across the country is that there is incredible potential for growth.

In many places, especially in the countryside, the realistic aim should not be to double the number of under-18s, because there is nothing to double! Instead, in countless local churches the actual aim will be to get from ‘none at all’ to ‘some’ under-18s in church.

On the other hand, once the intergenerational aspect of church has collapsed, it may be much harder to rebuild it again. Many smaller churches today are not only lacking the youngest generation but are in fact almost entirely mono-generational, with a majority of people in their 70s and 80s who are old enough to have grown up when Sunday school was a normal part of the childhood experience.

Meanwhile, the Canons of the Church of England continue to make the obligation crystal clear: ‘Every minister shall take care that the children and young people within his cure are instructed in the doctrine, sacraments, and discipline of Christ … on Sundays or if need be at other convenient times’ (1). And yet, although most Multi-Parish Benefices have two or more services targeted at grown-ups every Sunday in order to spare their congregants from having to get in their cars and drive to a different village to worship, at the same time many benefices have no provision for children on anything like a weekly basis.

Here, we’ve found that it’s possible to have both.

Back to the start

When I arrived in my benefice in 2022, the number of under-18s immediately grew from 0 to 2, or infinite percent! That was just our two children, but it was a start, which began to get people used to the sight and sound(!) of children in church once again.

In the previous four years, the post of Rector had been vacant for two long intervals and in between those there had been a global pandemic. By this point, the only thing the churches organised that was targeted at children was an annual Christingle or Crib Service in each of the three parishes.

From the very start – in my application for the role, at interview, in my prayers at my installation, and in my sermon on my first Sunday – I made it clear that reaching all ages with the good news of God’s love would be my highest priority. And when I say all ages, that of course still includes visiting the sick and the housebound, preparing sermons for adults, leading funerals and weddings, and so on.

But with a young family and a spouse who has her own calling and a demanding full-time job, my only option is to set limits around the hours I spend on work. Instead of attempting to do everything perfectly, I have focused on where I perceive that God is at work. I felt that was young children.

Like many rural parishes, my largest village has a Church of England primary school. It’s a good place to start. On arrival, I was asked to be a governor, but more importantly, I offered to lead an assembly once a fortnight. This has been one of the great and somewhat unexpected joys of my ministry.

I also made it a priority to meet and consult with those parents that were within the orbit of my churches, such as those who had attended Sunday school themselves, those whose children are asked to read at the Crib Service, those who are governors at the school, and of course those bringing their children for baptism.

It became clear that finding a time that works amid families’ busy schedules would be a challenge. But in the first year we tried one-off events like a Palm Sunday family service with a live donkey (now a regular annual fixture), which demonstrated that church could look very different than most people expected.

Meanwhile, God was at work in surprising ways. A member of the church asked out of the blue if she could start a weekly prayer breakfast. And when people meet to pray, things happen. A young father came along to the prayer breakfast. He had tried bringing his family along to church before my time here but had not felt welcomed, yet thankfully he gave us a second chance. Out of this grew the idea of a weekly gathering for families, and thus Family Church was founded in the summer of 2023.

Putting the pieces back together

Initially, Family Church was held on a Sunday afternoon to avoid interfering with the existing complex schedule of morning services rotating across the benefice. But there was still an intergenerational element from the start, as three volunteers from the morning congregations came along week by week.

In my benefice, like in many other places, there had been weekly Sunday school until it petered out a couple of decades ago, well within living memory. Some of those who used to lead it are still part of the congregation, and some are also playing an important part in re-establishing a community that includes all generations.

Family Church became the incubator in which a small but committed group of families was formed.

It was important for the families to meet regularly and in the same place every time, in the church with the best facilities which is also near the school and where the most children in the benefice live. Leaders from elsewhere in the benefice were on board with the idea that we had to begin where the greatest potential was, and that it was better to gather families from across the villages in one place.

Soon, some of the parents who came along were also drawn into the planning meetings and began actively contributing to leading the gatherings, although it has been important to respect that not everyone feels comfortable doing this. We found it helpful to use some of the excellent resources from Messy Church (2), but it was important for us to keep the sessions simple enough that we could plan a new one every week.

Messy Church suggests that events should take place monthly, which works well for outreach events, but we wanted to prioritise building up our Family Church by meeting regularly. Families sometimes have other commitments on weekends, so if they can’t make a particular date and there’s a month until the next one then that could leave a very long gap.

After two years of meeting in the afternoons, circumstances finally enabled us to bring young and old together in one church community. Getting already-committed families to change to come in the morning turned out to be relatively simple, but there also had to be a weekly morning service for them to come to. Changing the service times across the benefice to accommodate a weekly service in every parish required a lot of careful negotiation. But God has been good.

Step by step

I have recently launched a newsletter, ‘Rebuilding the Intergenerational Church’, to share encouragements and resources and connect with others in a similar situation (3).

Naturally, there have been moments of resistance to intergenerational church along the way, like when children behave differently than the older generation might expect. But on the whole, the change has been met with great openness and appreciation.

I find it helpful to address the process of change in sermons from time to time to help all members to reflect and be reassured (4).

Further initiatives have been encouraged. A group of volunteers came forward to run Open the Book, so that on those Wednesdays where I’m not leading an assembly at school, the children get to experience a lively and stimulating retelling of a Bible story instead.

In practice, on most Sundays, children now come along for the start of the service and then go to Children’s Church in the village hall, before returning either for communion or for refreshments and intergenerational fellowship after the service. There is a lot of value in this traditional ‘Sunday school’ model.

Every couple of months we bring everyone together in a family service. Organising worship that is genuinely engaging for all ages is complex and time-consuming. It’s challenging to meet everyone at their own level, but joyful to have everyone together.

This is our story so far. We have not arrived yet, particularly in the area of young people above primary school age. But the rebuilding has begun.

References

1. Canons of the Church of England, Section B
2. Messy Church Resources
3. Rebuilding the Intergenerational Church newsletter subscribe link
4. Transforming the Church sermon, preached by Nikolaj Christensen on 19th April 2026.